The second single from 'Purpose,' Justin Bieber's fourth studio album, 'Sorry' is an infectious confection - a Dorito for your ears.

LaCroix sparkling water is absolutely delicious.

Do you know why we pay trainers and nutritionists? Because having to muster interest in the minor successes of someone else's journey toward pedestrian-ass healthiness is taxing and should be compensated.

Join a Bikram-flow-yoga, Flywheel, or Pilates class so you can find spiritual oneness amid grunting socialite moms. Do whatever you want. Just, please, for the love of God, stop talking about it.

From the first time I harangued my mother into buying me a pair of platform sandals at the irascible and persistent age of 11, I've worn heels.

Rihanna's boots are too scared to look bad on Rihanna.

If there was a button that I could push that would agog my brain to the level that I felt first seeing 'Avatar' in its entirety and another one for food pellets, I would die of starvation.

I love small-business owners, and I actually love the idea of vintage clothing, but I don't get when they pretend that the Internet doesn't exist or that other customers have never been to the whole rest of the country where you can rummage around and buy the same dang belt for a buck and a half.

Home is where I climb out of my mecha-suit-of-a-poised-persona and power down.

In New York, you collect a thousand encounters a year, a passel of handshakes, a zillion air-kisses, and boatloads of business cards that you pitch into your purse and eventually deposit your chewing gum into. Amid this break-neck montage of glancing contacts, I'm tormented by the constant thrumming fear of being fingered as a flake.

I cannot quantify the physics of friendships and do not know exactly how much intense pressure can be applied before these glittery, brittle bonds break.

Consider this: alms aside, Wikipedia is fueled by competitive pedantry and emo-ness. How great is that?

When I was five, I compound-fractured my arm, pulverising my elbow.

When I was small, I thought I was just cooler than my mom because of how foreign she is. She's really foreign. You'd think it would kill her to get store-bought snacks, she's that foreign.

I love my mother a not-normal amount.

I like science a whole bunch, but I love 'The X-Files' more - I want to believe.

Never post food on your Instagram. Nobody cares, and only old people do it.

Privateers, military contractors - these aren't pirates. They have bosses. Real pirates are sellswords on missions of their own making.

Have passion, yes, but acknowledge that side projects are still work. They shake things up, just like switching up your workout helps you stay one step ahead of your torpid metabolism. They scramble the synapses.

Yes, Justin Bieber is a contrivance. Yes, Justin Bieber's lyrics are insipid - worse still, disingenuous. Yes, his tattoos stink. Yes, he's lousy at skateboarding. But what does any of this actually matter? In case you missed it, Bieber won.

For people who deal with anxiety or depression or can't be in large social groups cognitively, emotionally, or even physically, phones help bridge the gap.

There's a really generous readership with YA.

Try life as your own boss, on your own voyage. No daily commute. No salad bar at 12:15. No cc'ing about the meeting.

You always feel like a hack and a fraud when you're writing. It's just how it goes.