QUOTES by Mark Twain
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“December is the toughest month of the year. Others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, October, August, and February.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“Human pride is not worthwhile; there is always something lying in wait to take the wind out of it.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“You can't reason with your heart; it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“It's not what you don't know that kills you, it's what you know for sure that ain't true.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“What is joy without sorrow? what is success without failure? what is a win without a loss? what is health without illness? you have to experience each if you are to appreciate the other. there is always going to be suffering. it’s how you look at your suffering, how you deal with it, that will define you.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“Good judgement is the result of experience and experience the result of bad judgement.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“There are three things men can do with women: love them, suffer them, or turn them into literature.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“All I care to know about a man is that he is a human being... he can't be any worse.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“She remained both girl and woman to the last day of her life. Under a grave and gentle exterior burned inextinguishable fires of sympathy, energy, devotion, enthusiasm, and absolutely limitless affection.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. It's like feeding a dog on his own tail. It won't fatten the dog.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again and that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“Let us not be too particular. It is better to have old second-hand diamonds than none at all.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“The common eye sees only the outside of things, and judges by that, but the seeing eye pierces through and reads the heart and the soul, finding there capacities which the outside didn't indicate or promise, and which the other kind of eye couldn't detect.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them have never happened.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“Peace by persuasion has a pleasant sound, but I think we should not be able to work it. We should have to tame the human race first, and history seems to show that that cannot be done.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“Do something everyday that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“He had had much experience of physicians, and said 'the only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not'.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet deep down in his private heart no man much respects himself.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“When we think of friends, and call their faces out of the shadows, and their voices out of the echoes that faint along the corridors of memory, and do it without knowing why save that we love to do it, we content ourselves that that friendship is a Reality, and not a Fancy--that it is builded upon a rock, and not upon the sands that dissolve away with the ebbing tides and carry their monuments with them.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself. All day long, the mill of his brain is grinding, and his thoughts, not those of other things, are his history. These are his life, and they are not written. Everyday would make a whole book of 80,000 words -- 365 books a year. Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man -- the biography of the man himself cannot be written.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor: he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“There are several good protections against temptations, but the surest is cowardice.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“There is nothing so annoying as having two people talking when you're busy interrupting.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“Great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either occasion.”
Quote by -Mark Twain
“The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopt.”
Quote by -Mark Twain