QUOTES by P. J. O'Rourke
Find most favourite and famour Authors from A.A Milne to Zoe Kravitz.
The idea of a stag hunt evokes chivalry - knights in jerkins and hose, ladies on sidesaddles with wimples and billowing dresses, a white stag symbolizing something-or-other, and Robin Hood getting in the way. An actual stag hunt is more like a horseback meeting of a county planning commission.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
There is only one thing that gives me hope as a Republican, and that is the Democrats. It's going to be hard to do a worse job running American than the Republicans have, but if anybody can do it, it's the Democrats.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
The car provided Americans with an enviable standard of living. You could not get a steady job with high wages and health and retirement benefits working on the General Livestock Corporation assembly line putting udders on cows.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
If you ask the government to solve all of your problems, it's a bit like asking your wife to cook and clean, to raise the children, to hold down a second job to help with the family finances, to keep her parents happy and well and keep your parents happy and well, and to also - to do the lawn and clean the gutters.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
I spent a lot of time behind the Iron Curtain, and their cars were abysmal.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
The perpetuation of slavery, the exile and extermination of American Indians, and the passage of Jim Crow laws weren't carried out at the bidding of a few malefactors of great wealth.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Writing on a computer makes saving what's been written too easy. Pretentious lead sentences are kept, not tossed. Instead of sitting surrounded by crumpled paper, the computerized writer has his mistakes neatly stored in digital memory.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Are you a Democrat because you're a union member? Then why, after eight years of Bill Clinton, does some Chinese guy in Guangdong province have your job?
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Kuwait City is not gorgeous, actually, but it's got a kind of Epcot Center thing going for it. It's not pretty. But it's striking, I'll give it that. It's not as over-the-top as Abu Dhabi or Dubai. But nearly.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino's box.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
I think every high school student who was alert during the early '60s got very embittered by the slow progress and the violence surrounding the Civil Rights Movement.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Simply because something is a populist movement doesn't make it either good or bad.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
You're not a baby boomer if you don't have a visceral recollection of a Kennedy and a King assassination, a Beatles breakup, a U.S. defeat in Vietnam, and a Watergate.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
If there are three words that need to be used more in American journalism, commentary, politics, personal life... it's the magic words 'I don't know.'
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
The difference between American parties is actually simple. Democrats are in favor of higher taxes to pay for greater spending, while Republicans are in favor of greater spending, for which the taxpayers will pay.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Preachers at black churches are the last people left in the English-speaking world who know the schemes and tropes of classical rhetoric: parallelism, antithesis, epistrophe, synecdoche, metonymy, periphrasis, litotes - the whole bag of tricks.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
In a free country, government is a dull and onerous responsibility. It is a parent-teacher conference.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Liberals want to live downtown. All over America - in New York, San Francisco, Chicago, Georgetown - there are crowds of liberals living in the gritty, ugly, dirty neighborhoods sensible people are trying to flee.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
The problem with public school is not overcrowding in the classroom. The problem is not teacher unions. The problem is not underfunding or lack of computer equipment. The problem is your damn kids.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Liberals are always proposing perfectly insane ideas, laws that will make everybody happy, laws that will make everything right, make us live forever, and all be rich. Conservatives are never that stupid.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
The importance of local governance may not be obvious to an America accustomed to treating city and state downfalls with doses of federal comeuppance. Sometimes there's a reason for that - the Civil War. More often, all reasoning seems absent - No Child Left Behind.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow... he wasn't evil or anything, but he was worthless.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
The people who despise America are the editors of the 'New Statesman.' Their green-card applications must have been turned down.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
War expands government powers. The trouble is that, when the war goes away, the government powers do not.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God's infinite mercy, a last resort.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Politicians will talk strategy and tactics and policies and programs until they're blue in the face, or you strangle them and they turn blue.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
In Henry Adams, I discovered not only the prototype of the modern thinker but also someone who is more interesting: a viper-toothed, puling, supercilious crank, thwarted in ambition, aging gracelessly, mad at the cosmos, and ashamed of his own jejune ideals. He is nevertheless very dear to me.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
All religious believers should be licensed to make sure that they are competent to hold opinions and viewpoints and that they don't believe in just any old thing, such as creationism or a flat tax.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Cars let us out of the barn and, while they were at it, destroyed the American nuclear family. As anyone who has had an American nuclear family can tell you, this was a relief to all concerned.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the kids, just makes for a pleasanter atmosphere.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke