QUOTES by P. J. O'Rourke
Find most favourite and famour Authors from A.A Milne to Zoe Kravitz.
Like most sensible people, you probably lost interest in modern art about the time that Julian Schnabel was painting broken pieces of the crockery that his wife had thrown at him for painting broken pieces of crockery instead of painting the bathroom and hall.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Maybe climate change is a threat, and maybe climate change has been tarted up by climatologists trolling for research grant cash. It doesn't matter.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Abstract anger is great for rhetorical carrying on. You can go on endlessly about the post office, but it doesn't mean you're mad at your mailman.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
The best and brightest don't go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
In theory, taxes should be like shopping. What I buy is government services. What I pay are my taxes.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
The 1960s was an era of big thoughts. And yet, amazingly, each of these thoughts could fit on a T-shirt.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Infant mortality and life expectancy are reasonable indicators of general well-being in a society.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Liberals have invented whole college majors - psychology, sociology and women's studies - to prove that nothing is anybody's fault.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Passover is my idea of a perfect holiday. Dear God, when you're handing out plagues of darkness, locusts, hail, boils, flies, lice, frogs, and cattle murrain, and turning the Nile to blood and smiting the firstborn, give me a pass. And tell me when it's over.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
I live in New Hampshire. We're in favor of global warming. Eleven hundred more feet of sea-level rises? I've got beachfront property. You tell us up there, 'By the end of the century, New York City could be underwater,' and we say, 'Your point is?'
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
The library, with its Daedalian labyrinth, mysterious hush, and faintly ominous aroma of knowledge, has been replaced by the computer's cheap glow, pesky chirp, and data spillage.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Adam Smith's huge failure was the fact that he did not foresee the industrial revolution.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Most people sort of enjoy going to work because of the socialisation, a chance to flirt with co-workers and so on, but actually hate the job they do.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
A penny will not buy a penny postcard or a penny whistle or a single piece of penny candy. It will not even, if you're managing the U.S. Mint, buy a penny.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
The great thing about being a print journalist is that you are permitted to duck. Cameramen get killed while the writers are flat on the floor. A war correspondent for the BBC dedicated his memoir to 50 fallen colleagues, and I guarantee you they were all taking pictures. I am only alive because I am such a chicken.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
The beauty of democracy is that an average, random, unremarkable citizen can lead it.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
The 20th century was a test bed for big ideas - fascism, communism, the atomic bomb.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock?
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
It could be that all awful dictators are frustrated artists - Mao with his poetry and Mussolini with his monuments. Stalin was once a journalistic hack, and I can personally testify to how frustrated they are. Pol Pot left a very edgy photo collection behind. And Osama seems quite interested in video.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Sheep farming is heavily subsidized in Great Britain. Without the subsidies, the green grazing in the valley of the River Exe would be gone. The handsome agricultural landscape of which the British are so proud, carefully husbanded since Boudicca's day, would be replaced by natural growth. The most likely growth is real-estate developments.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Bill Clinton is not a hypocrite. If a man believes that it is just and moral to redistribute wealth, there is nothing hypocritical in his attempts to redistribute some of that wealth to himself.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Politics is a necessary evil, or a necessary annoyance, a necessary conundrum.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Global warming is a fact. Now it's up to liberals to make it a reality. Hence there is crucial importance in preventing powerful, greedy free market forces from getting in the way of worsening storms and rising sea levels. The Kyoto Accord is a good first step.
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Not much was really invented during the Renaissance, if you don't count modern civilization.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Think what evil creeps liberals would be if their plans to enfeeble the individual, exhaust the economy, impede the rule of law, and cripple national defense were guided by a coherent ideology instead of smug ignorance.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke
Once you've built the big machinery of political power, remember you won't always be the one to run it.
Quote by -P. J. O'Rourke