We're not raising children with the love that we need to.

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.

I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't.

You don't know what you're going to fall in love with until you're exposed to it.

If I read the small print, and I see that what I love to taste has pantonaponamene or fake smeinlioaimine, then I have to hide in my room when I eat it. I'm still gonna eat it, it's just gonna be 'Don't come in here!'

I think I am a good running back, but I'm really not that fast. There is only one thing I can do, that is throw a cross-body block. Picture perfect. I love it. Not that good at pass blocking.

When I look at 55 percent of our black men dropping out of school, how bad off are we going to be when we need some lawyers?

There are certain times of the day when you need a balance - that is, your protein and your carbs. I'm a Barry Sears man. I believe that anything green is a carb, and I need 2:1. Two of the carbs to one of the protein.

Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.

All men should freely use those seven words which have the power to make any marriage run smoothly: You know dear, you may be right

Man can not live by bread alone ... he must have peanut butter.

Because for me it is almost analgesic to talk about what the white man is doing against us. And it keeps a person frozen in their seat, it keeps you frozen in your hole you’re sitting in.

My dad came over to the house... went into his pocket and pulled out a handful of money, and began to pass it out to the children... This was the same man who, when I was his child, I would ask him for 50 cents, this man would tell me his life's story.

The wisest married men give in early. They get in touch with the wife side of themselves, and that's when they stop arguing.

In America ... the seven ages of man have become preschooler, Pepsi generation, baby boomer, mid-lifer, empty-nester, senior citizen, and organ donor.

In spite of what Thomas Jefferson wrote, all men may be created equal, but not to all women.

If a white man falls off a chair drunk, it's just a drunk. If a Negro does, it's the whole damn Negro race.

One of the great mistakes that can be made by a man of my age is to get involved in athletic competition with children-unless, of course, they are under six. And even then, stay away from hide-and-seek.

There's no reason for him to come here and jump on black men who have been held down for years.

The most important educational vehicle in all life is a parent figure.

Parents are people who yell and they yell and they yell and they yell. And you already have the point... and they're still yelling.

Every success story has a parent who says, 'over my dead body.' Every success story has an old person who walks up to you and says, when you're acting the fool, 'you know I worry about you sometimes.'

Your parents put a curse on you - Someday your kids are going to act just like you.

Calculus is one course you can come with to your parents and say, I am dropping it. And they'll understand.

Most fathers and... Mothers. Only your grandmother and Ghengis Khan know how to do it.

Parenting needs to come to the forefront.

Today's parents grew up with the silly notion that music was meant to be heard.

All parents experience the same problems.

I wanted to give the house back to the parents.

I'm not sure if my parents had me because they loved me, or because they wanted someone to watch their other children.

If you're a parent, the five worst words you can say to your children are, "When I was your age ..." You were never their age. You were older in the womb.

We parents ask dumb questions, therefore we get dumb answers.

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.

The problems with kids having short attention spans is driven by entertainment, reset buttons on games, games having to do with getting somewhere and heads blowing up. Everything is 'cut to the chase, cut to the chase.'

Kids need to remember that when you put something on Twitter, it's not like whispering to your friend, you've put it on a billboard that the whole world, including your own kids someday, can see.

I often try to tell kids to think about all the people who love you, don't cry over the one person who doesn't.

Your parents put a curse on you - Someday your kids are going to act just like you.

Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His kids.

I don't wear no condom and I don't plan for no kids.

We are the only animals that let our kids come back home.

Why do kids always say peace out, I though peace was in.

My feeling is, personally, I want to die first... because I believe that when you die, your soul goes immediately up for judgment - and I don't want my wife up there first. No, the judgment will be horrendous.

I tell stories. Because I believe you can do things that joke tellers can't do, and that is, bring your audience along.

I don't have a problem believing in God and Jesus. But in Genesis one has to wonder about these sentences that just go on and end without finishing. The thought is unfinished. Where did Adam go? What is he doing? Hello? There has to be some pages missing.

My grandpa didn't believe in hugging and kissing, or saying ""I love you."" His love had to do with the way he treated you. When he said, ""We're going here, we're going there,"" he was telling me about life. That was his love for me. My love for him was listening to what he said, keeping out of trouble, doing right, being fair.

My grandpa didn't believe in hugging and kissing, or saying I love you. His love had to do with the way he treated you. When he said, We're going here, we're going there, he was telling me about life. That was his love for me. My love for him was listening to what he said, keeping out of trouble, doing right, being fair.

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.