QUOTES by Bill Cosby
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Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
Did you ever see the customers in health - food stores? They are pale, skinny people who look half - dead. In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying, of course, but they look terrific.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by 'survival of the fittest.'
Quote by -Bill Cosby
I don't see much comedy in the Bible, where people are writing about funny people. It's not there.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
Did you ever see the customers in health-food stores? They are pale, skinny people who look half dead. In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying, of course, but they look terrific.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
I can't even talk the way these people talk. 'Why you ain't?' 'Where you is?' Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
I know people are tired of me not saying anything, but a guy doesn’t have to answer to innuendos,
Quote by -Bill Cosby
As a comedian, I can walk out in front of 5000 people and not worry about a thing. Not a thing, believe me. But to stand up a face a camera and crew of maybe 15 guys and get up tight about it - to me that's weird.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
I feel that in-person contact with people is the most important thing in comedy. While I'm up on stage, I can actually put myself into the audience and adjust my pace and tuning to them. I can get into their heads through their ears and through their eyes. Only through this total communication can I really achieve what I'm trying to do.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
This happened to the people. The Constitution says of the people, by the people, for the people... but the people who got the office, got into office and forgot about the people.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
The measure ov overexposure is not how many times people see you on TV or in the bookstores. It's whether you can maintain the quality of your entertainment. If you can, people will always be glad to see you.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
People will frighten you about a graduation....They use words you don't hear often...
Quote by -Bill Cosby
People will frighten you about a graduation.... They use words you don't hear often: And we wish you Godspeed." It is a warning, Godspeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices."
Quote by -Bill Cosby
People should fact check. People shouldn’t have to go through that and shouldn’t answer to innuendos.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
If you know two languages, the level of your intelligence is multiplied a hundredfold in other people's eyes.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
Beware of people who fall at your feet. They may be reaching for the corner of the rug.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
The summit, which is set up to educate people about managing their money and protecting their income, leads to empowerment of self, for which this summit needs to be applauded.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
These people marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an education and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
Never say [to younger people] "that was before your time," because the last full moon was before their time!
Quote by -Bill Cosby
Ladies and gentlemen, the lower economic and lower middle economic people are not holding their end in this deal. In the neighborhood that most of us grew up in, parenting is not going on.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
People will frighten you about a graduation...They use words you don't hear often... "And we wish you Godspeed." It is a warning, Godpeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
People have all kinds of approaches when they come up to me. Some of them are so nervous: 'You know, Mr. Cosby, you are my biggest fan!' I am? Some of them even claim that I raised them.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
When my son was murdered, people asked me how I felt about God and what had happened to my son. I said, 'No, you can't go there. You have to understand that there is a devil, and he works 24/7. Whoever murdered our son was with the devil.'
Quote by -Bill Cosby
I can't negate the theory that the Huxtables on 'The Cosby Show' may have helped pave the way for the Obama family. People enjoyed watching that black family.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
What we need is for people to realize - 'I want to raise my kid. I want to go back and get my three kids. I want to take on that responsibility. I want to love my children.'
Quote by -Bill Cosby
I'm one of those who cut off seeing people after a certain time, when the weight is gone and they sound like the dementia is very advanced - I don't want to see that. I don't even go in to look at the body. That's not my last memory.
Quote by -Bill Cosby