QUOTES by Rodney Dangerfield
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A girl phoned me the other day and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
Quote by -Rodney Dangerfield
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
Quote by -Rodney Dangerfield
I say 'no' to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs I say, 'no.
Quote by -Rodney Dangerfield
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
Quote by -Rodney Dangerfield
I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Quote by -Rodney Dangerfield
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
Quote by -Rodney Dangerfield
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
Quote by -Rodney Dangerfield
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.
Quote by -Rodney Dangerfield
Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.
Quote by -Rodney Dangerfield