“Don't let the muggles get you down.”

“God has picked you out to pick you up.” 

“A man must be disposed to judge of emancipation by other tests than whether it has increased the produce of sugar,—and to hate slavery for other reasons than because it starves men and whips women,—before he is ready to lay the first stone of his anti-slavery life.” 

“The quality of any advice anybody has to offer has to be judged against the quality of life they actually lead.” 

My trainer don't tell me nothing between rounds. I don't allow him to. I fight the fight. All I want to know is did I win the round. It's too late for advice.

“I agree with the realistic Irishman who said he preferred to prophesy after the event.” 

“When giving treats to friends or children, give them what they like, emphatically not what is good for them.”

“Do not look at the faces in the illustrated papers. Look at the faces in the street.”

“Do not enjoy yourself. Enjoy dances and theaters and joy-rides and champagne and oysters; enjoy jazz and cocktails and night-clubs if you can enjoy nothing better; enjoy bigamy and burglary and any crime in the calendar, in preference to the other alternative; but never learn to enjoy yourself.

I am always chilled and astonished by the would-be writers who ask me for advice and admit, quite blithely, that they "don't have time to read." This is like a guy starting up Mount Everest saying that he didn't have time to buy any rope or pitons.