I'm sour at times.

I like to watch all those shows that shouldn't be on the air - reality shows.

There's nothing more dramatic than the comedy I've done. Because the comedy I've done is to get to the audience, get them to feel it, or they won't laugh.

The greatest thing I can remember in my whole career was the Ringling Brothers & Barnum and Bailey clowns asking me to appear with them at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles in 1965.

Getting attention is my business. My whole life's predicated on, 'Hey, look at me!'

Adrenaline is wonderful. It covers pain. It covers dementia. It covers everything.

When you're doing a different kind of film, you have to bring a different kind of attitude; you have to bring a different kind of concentration.

I feel I have been a part of some very wonderful films, and I have had it in mind when I was on the set, every day, that what I am doing has meaning.

I tell young comics, 'Do you want this badly enough? It's there. But you have to go get it. And if you think I'm going to give you the key to the lock of that door, there is no key, there is no lock, and there is no door.'

I expect people that come to the studio to work to come with the same energy I come with. If I see less than that, I get very strong about, if you want to do this, come with a sense of pride, come with eagerness and anxiety.

A woman doing comedy doesn't offend me, but sets me back a bit. I, as a viewer, have trouble with it. I think of her as a producing machine that brings babies in the world.

I am probably the most selfish man you will ever meet in your life. No one gets the satisfaction or the joy that I get out of seeing kids realize there is hope.

I think the cartoons that they're children are watching, particularly 'The Simpsons,' they're OK. I think that the adult audience is making much too much of the danger that they imply. That's not the case. The danger for children today, honey, is the news. Keep them away from news on television.

I will do whatever is necessary to make better the stupidity on my part - and therefore go after those who are acting stupid themselves. It's not popular. You don't make friends when you do that. And I couldn't care less.

I almost get annoyed at the fact that I'm not going to use all that I got.

People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius.

When I was young, I wasn't disciplined at all.

When you are debilitated, and you're very depressed, and you believe there's no hope, you cannot get a better potpourri of down.

When I was onstage doing the work, adrenaline killed the pain because I never hurt in front of an audience.

I happen to believe in the human condition so strongly that I don't have to make up games to play with people. Here's what I think: If it's good, let's go for it. If it needs work to be better, let's work on it.

The young man who's had the Guggenheim fortune behind him all his life - he can hire all the authorities on the subject to teach him how to do a monologue, but he's never going to have the right stuff to pull it off. If he doesn't walk out onstage needing to walk out there, he doesn't have a dream of doing well.

You can't hold comedy back, because it needs to be exposed.

I almost resent being Charley Moviestar. Yeah, I'm grateful. But it takes me away from my kids.

Going unnoticed has never been my strong suit.