Comedy Quotes
Find one of the best and famous quote catagorized into topics like inspirational, motivations, deep, thoughtful, art, success, passion, frindship, life, love and many more.
I don't think we have a surplus of fine educators in this country that we can just start dropping them for no reason whatsoever.
Quote by -Ron White
I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.
Quote by -Ron White
If you become famous and don't have a live show to back it up, they're not going to pay you any money.
Quote by -Ron White
I could do no wrong in my mother's eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
Quote by -Ron White
If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.
Quote by -Ron White
Vegas is famous for a lot of things, and bad marriages are one of them. Margo and I are proof that you can make this work. It just takes a little effort.
Quote by -Ron White
I don't like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that's the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don't do a ton of it.
Quote by -Ron White
There have been times when I played more than others, but I've been a road comic for a quarter of a century, so I've always played golf on the road because you have a lot of time to kill.
Quote by -Ron White
If you watch the 'Blue Collar Comedy Tour,' don't expect that when you come see me by myself, 'cause it's a little rougher.
Quote by -Ron White
As a small child, I could watch anything happen and tell a story, and it was funny.
Quote by -Ron White
As long as I stay engaged with everybody else, then I'll create more comedy. It's just when I shut off and stay at home... What helps me is just to keep moving.
Quote by -Ron White
I don't like to do burnt material on stage. Even though my crowd loves to hear me do old stuff, I don't like to do old stuff. So I do very, very little of it.
Quote by -Ron White
I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
Quote by -Ron White
That's the beauty of being a straight-to-DVD star. It really helps you stay under the media's radar.
Quote by -Ron White
You can tell on-stage when a joke's starting to lose its pop. It doesn't mean people don't want to hear it anymore; it means I don't want to do it anymore. Because I want to move on to something that has a knee-jerk reaction just like you get when you tell somebody a joke that they've never heard.
Quote by -Ron White
When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
Quote by -Ron White
I write these shows one joke at a time. There's no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there's not continuity.
Quote by -Ron White
Here's how I operate. When I see something I like, 20 years later, I ask her brother for her phone number. She don't even see me coming.
Quote by -Ron White
Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
Quote by -Ron White
I do a lot of gay-friendly stuff in my show, and men, women, they all love it. I practice non-judgment in my daily life and hope other people do the same thing.
Quote by -Ron White
People used to say I'm regional, but I'm not... We all have the same human condition.
Quote by -Ron White
I've been offered starring roles in horrible movies, but I just didn't want to do it. I don't see why you would.
Quote by -Ron White
But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It's like anything else. It's a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.
Quote by -Ron White
I don't know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn't have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.
Quote by -Ron White
Anything I write that I consider stage-quality work, I won't give my TV show. I put it in my live show.
Quote by -Ron White
I want my fans to feel like we're always in touch. Because without 'em, I wouldn't be able to do any of this.
Quote by -Ron White
TV is a hard job. You work 15 hours a day. People tell you what to do. I hate to do it.
Quote by -Ron White
There's no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn't been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you'll look cool, I don't get that. But I don't watch standup anyway, so I don't know what they're doing.
Quote by -Ron White
I'm not willing to drag my fans down a road I don't believe in. That's just my one little principle. I've only got one, and that's it.
Quote by -Ron White
People, when they go on stage, tend to be animated and try to force things out instead of relaxing and bringing it in.
Quote by -Ron White
All I know how to do is take what's on my mind and spit it out funny. I don't know what else I could do besides comedy.
Quote by -Ron White
When I was 20, I used to go around telling stories, and I knew where I was comfortable - onstage, talking, making 'em laugh and listen to the weirdest things. I liked being the center of attention.
Quote by -Ron White
I think the world has their own good, clean, Christian comedy. They don't need my help.
Quote by -Ron White
Think of The Rontourage as the Ron White Channel, where you can see us getting into trouble in all kinds of different places.
Quote by -Ron White
I think honest communication, no matter where it comes from, is positive for a relationship.
Quote by -Ron White