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Once you start doing only what you've already proven you can do, you're on the road to death.
Jerry Seinfeld
Forty to 60 I would say is your prime. That's when you know the most, you've seen the most, you understand the most, and you still have some physical energy.
A lot of advertising has gotten worse. I think it's kind of lost its nerve, to be honest with you. I feel like the advertising of the '60s, they were nervier. You know why? Because there was less at stake.
If you're a surfer, you just want to surf. You don't know if anyone's going to see you, and you don't really care if they see you. You just live for that feeling.
I love being a dad. I just love it.
The Beatles created something that never trailed off. What a gift that was to their fans. If you're into the Beatles, you loved them from beginning to end.
When I jumped off a roof in Cannes in a bee costume, I looked ridiculous. But this is my business; I have to humiliate myself.
If you get something right, you really feel it, right in your chest, on stage. I think it's an incomparable experience.
Crankiness is at the essence of all comedy. My wife and I were discussing the different types of cranky. There's entertaining cranky, annoying cranky, angry cranky.
The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun.
Nobody enjoys the 'little show about nothing' humor more than me, but that is never the way I look at it.
Well, Howard Stern has been doing his impression of me for years. It doesn't really bother me.
The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.
I kind of thought that stand-up comedy would suffer from the Internet because people seem to know more about the craft of stand-up than ever before. I thought it would seem trite. Kind of like if you know more about magicians, you wouldn't love them.
When you're in comedy, people always come up and say, 'Oh, it must be so hard.' It really isn't hard unless you're not good at it. If you can do it, its really kind of fun and easy.
I've done a number of Super Bowl ads. And that is the best advertising of the year. That is when people realize they're going to be compared directly against other ads.
There are very few people who really appreciate my shows. People come to the show and they pay and they enjoy it, but I don't really think most people really understand what they've seen.
Stand-up is hard.
My theory is 98 percent of all human endeavor is killing time.
I'll tell you one thing, since I'm married, single people look absolutely ridiculous to me.
Being a stand-up is my mission in life; it's my passion. My ongoing goal is to simply be funny, on my own, in front of a roomful of strangers.
You don't even really need a place. But you feel like you're doing something. That is what coffee is. And that is one of the geniuses of the new coffee culture.
The worst way of flying, I think, is standby. It never works. That's why they call it standby. You end up standing there going, 'Bye!'
A lot of times, you could play me just the laughs from my set, and I could tell you, from the laugh, what the joke was. Because they match.