The best advice I can give you about falling is to never land.

You could knock my teeth out and break my nose, and there'd be something funny about it to me.

My father was the funniest guy I ever met. I'm not sure if I stole his stuff or if I inherited it.

Let's not call physical comedy falling down and pratfalls. All humor is physical, no matter how you dish it out. It's timing, like a dancer or an athlete would have.

I guess I look so straight and normal, nobody expects me to pick my nose and fall.

You can't observe as much if you're observed by others.

Most of the films I've done were ruined in the postproduction, not during filming.

I just went into this business for laughs. I guess I don't mind being an actor so much now.

Last good pratfall I did, I broke bones in both hands. I still feel it when people shake my hand.

I don't know if my looks will ever get any better, but my pratfalls sure won't.

Television doesn't make stars. It's the written media, the press, that makes stars.

The first thing that happens is that you're overwhelmed by so much attention. It's just so unnatural. Only people who've been in that position can realize what it's like. I mean, you have to be there.

I think the Clintons are brilliant. I've never met a person as intelligent as Bill, and I think Hillary is right up there with him. They're too smart for Washington.

It took me 20 years of making movies to learn how to do it.

They can't make any of these talented young actors Fletch. You might as well make a movie called Chevy Chase.

I made about 28 movies, and I think about five of them were good.

Once I got married and had kids, I moved away from romantic roles, because it seemed wrong to have my three-year-old wondering why Daddy was kissing someone else.

We never could have performed live for an hour and a half every week if we were doing drugs.

I watched every single Charlie Chaplin film.

All my children inherited perfect pitch.

Anyone who wants to run has to be a Jimmy Swaggart, minus the default.

If you're in the White House, it's your house, and you can invite whatever friend you want.

Every Vacation movie didn't just make the studio money. They each made the studio a lot of money.

I learned a lot about handling fans from established stars.