Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.

I have my own demons and dark moods. It's weird.

A man is only as faithful as his options.

Laughter kills lonesome. It's one of the great things in our lives.

It's so important, people laughing.

Frank Capra's grandson was a second Assistant Director on 'Christmas Vacation.'

Damn, I had some great moves. I still have them; I'm just not using them at home a lot.

It was pretty clear that I was a funny guy, just as a guy.

It wasn't as if I was simply some guy who had never seen the other side of the tracks.

Thank God I have the right friends.

I'm a New Yorker, and I live in the country.

If what you do in life is perform to open up eyes and minds, to make people laugh, then it better damn well be new! It shouldn't be just a repetitious 'Hey, I'm still here!'

I come from a much freer kind of performance thing, where I rely on my own improv and my own sense of humor.

Fame is a very unnatural human condition.

Avoid fatty foods, Bensonhurst, and hair care products.

There was a whole slew of 'Cops and Robbersons,' just films that didn't measure up, that didn't stand for anything comedically. They were purely for a paycheck.

When I saw 'Caddyshack,' I realized I couldn't act.

I'd never be tied down for five years interviewing TV personalities.

It's not like I am working with the great innovators of all time, but at the same time, they are my friends.

I've been too funny in my life to have to play a character who's... moderately funny.

I turned down 'Forrest Gump.'

It will eventually be discovered that the more you sleep, the healthier you are. Which means you'll really be at your healthiest when you pass away.

There's no vacation from being a parent.

Who made me laugh when I was growing was Chaplin and the Marx Brothers, and then moving on, there were so many that I was a writer for for many years: I was a writer for the Smothers Brothers, Lily Tomlin, then I started on 'Saturday Night Live' as the head writer the first year we started it.