Comedy Quotes

Find one of the best and famous quote catagorized into topics like inspirational, motivations, deep, thoughtful, art, success, passion, frindship, life, love and many more.

"Unless cameras were rolling, I was pretty much not Danny Tanner."
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Bob Saget

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"I really love making people laugh."
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Bob Saget

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"When you've seen a lot of bad stuff and just want to enjoy your life and be happy and have your kids happy and have your friends happy, you just have a value system where it raises the bar on what's important."
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Bob Saget

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"I become a chameleon for wherever I am."
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Bob Saget

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"I don't like the negative of reality tv - the 'you're no good, so you have to leave, I choose you, but I thought you really loved me.' It's all about how bad people are and I just hate that. I like Pimp my Ride where someone is helping somebody."
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Bob Saget

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"As soon as I go into a dark subject, like discussing the people I've loved and lost, I off-road into absurdist comedy perversion. It's both a means of protection and a kind of denial, a blessing and a curse. Wait, it's not a blessing at all. I guess it would be a bad habit and a curse."
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Bob Saget

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"Celebrity is a word that I find offensive. That's the c-word. I hate it. It means no discernible talent. It means all you want is to be famous. It doesn't mean you're a writer, an actor, a mime. I think I wanna not be a celebrity."
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Bob Saget

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"I'm doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it's fantastic and it makes me very happy. I'm dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I'm working on a new tv show for cable and it's not set up yet."
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Bob Saget

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"I've had a pilot every single year that didn't sell for the past four years, that'll smack you in the back of the head. I had a really good one last year; I wouldn't have done the play in New York if I had gotten that one."
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Bob Saget

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"There was this whole middle time that only Chris Rock came out of, you know, 10 years ago it was Chris and a few other people, but that's about it. Chris is in a class of his own; I don't see another comedian who I put in high regard as him."
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Bob Saget

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"Comedians' first ten minutes usually stay with them the first several years of their career. It's their mission statement. Their disclaimer that lets people know who they are. Or were. It's also a good time to make fun of your name if you have a funny or strange one."
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Bob Saget

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"I've met so many remarkable people so far, coming up through stand-up all these years, who just aren't alive anymore. Because they are dead. Some really great people who helped change my life and career, people like Richard Pryor, Sam Kinison, Rodney Dangerfield, Johnny Carson."
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Bob Saget

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"I don't think I was a good comedian."
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Brigitte Bardot

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"Stand-up comedy and comedy in general is the ultimate form of free speech, because you get to poke holes in all the pretentious bubbles politicians and pundits and popes and pretenders try to float over our heads."
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Denis Leary

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"Seth Meyers is highly overrated as a comedian."
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Donald Trump

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"We have lost a giant of comedy. Ronnie Barker will be numbered amongst a select band of greats who shaped British comedy in the twentieth century."
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Mark Thompson

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"Ronnie Barker will be numbered amongst a select band of comedy greats who shaped British comedy in the 20th century."
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Mark Thompson

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"Comedy has to be done en clair. You can’t blunt the edge of wit or the point of satire with obscurity. Try to imagine a famous witty saying that is not immediately clear."
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James Thurber

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I love music. I've always wanted to do music, even when I started out as a comedian.
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Jamie Foxx

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I am a comedian and you guys know whatever I say, I don't mean any of it.
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Jamie Foxx

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All of us black comedians are trying to be mainstream, but you don't want to lose the edge.
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Jamie Foxx

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It's always good to take something that's happened in your life and make something of it comedically.
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Larry David

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The crooks downtown figured out that comedy is like a hammer. It can put up a barn and it can knock down a wall. So they bought it outright and marketed it as Comedy Central.
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Lenny Bruce

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If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.
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Lenny Bruce

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You can't just run out and start the car until some cat invents a car.
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Lenny Bruce

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What you end up with is outrageousness without the laugh - comedy as electro shock therapy.

Quote by - Lenny Bruce

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There is only what is and that's it. What should be is a dirty lie.
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Lenny Bruce

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I'm sure that half the buzz from smoking grass was the fact that it was so illegal.
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Lenny Bruce

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I've talked to biblical cats, and Neanderthals who been here since day one. No one here has even seen the Big Boss. Ever.
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Lenny Bruce

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The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.
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Lenny Bruce

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Communism is just one big telephone company.
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Lenny Bruce

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Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
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Lenny Bruce

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If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish
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Lenny Bruce

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The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.
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Lenny Bruce

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Once you sleep on feathers you can't go back to sleeping on the floor.
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Lenny Bruce

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I'm not a comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce.
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Lenny Bruce

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Sex and obscenity are not synonymous.
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Lenny Bruce

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I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.
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Lenny Bruce

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Certain things are complete superstition and have no validity at all in the Bible. Yeah. They're just the antithesis of everything that is correct intellectually.
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Lenny Bruce

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TV is just advertising for your live gig, so I'm playing whichever show is gonna get me the biggest crowd.
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Lenny Bruce

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All my humor is based upon destruction and despair.

Quote by - Lenny Bruce

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When you're eight years old, nothing is any of your business.
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Lenny Bruce

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You got to pay your dues to get the joke. Besides, laughter is cheap and very portable. If there's a pogrom, or they're blaming you for the plague, nothing is easier to pack than a sense of humor.
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Lenny Bruce

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Wouldn't it be nice if all the people who are lonesome could live in one big dormitory, sleep in beds next to each other, talk, laugh, and keep the lights on as long as they want to?
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Lenny Bruce

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Every group needs a comedian. A comic who is politically incorrect at the Berkeley campus might slay them at a Klan rally.
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Lenny Bruce

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Trying to figure things out was my gig. Without the human condition, there's no struggle, no pain and that means no laughter.
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Lenny Bruce

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Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days.
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Lenny Bruce

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Today's comedian has a cross to bear that he built himself. A comedian of the older generation did an act and he told the audience, This is my act. Today's comic is not doing an act. The audience assumes he's telling the truth. What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.
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Lenny Bruce

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