To this day, when I say that I went to the American Academy, people are very impressed. The reputation of the school has always been fantastic.

I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.

I have a problem, if the light goes on on TV and it blinks midnight, I don't know how to fix it.

I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym.

My wife came into my life, and my mother still wanted to be the boss.

Las Vegas is the boiling pot of entertainment.

I have a wonderful road manager, and he travels with me. And my valet and friend travels with me. My little entourage is great, and they take good care of me.

You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude.

My grandchildren just know me now as Mr. Potato Head.

I couldn't sell air conditioners on a 98-degree day. When I demonstrated them in a showroom, I pushed the wrong button and blew the circuit.

An insult is mean or unkind. Milton Berle called me the Sultan of Insult, and I was called the King of Insult. But the guy that gave me the best title - and I use it to this day - was Johnny Carson. He called me Mr. Warmth.

If I have learned anything, it is to keep my wife happy by sending her lavish gifts. Other men can learn from my success and send their wives and girlfriends fresh flowers for birthdays, anniversaries, and of course, Valentine's Day.

I stopped smoking. But my personality I still have. I get up in the morning, and not everybody loves me, so if you want to call that a bad habit, there's that.

I did a picture 40 years ago with Carroll O'Connor and Telly Savalas, God rest their souls, and Clint Eastwood, called 'Kelly's Heroes,' which we filmed in Yugoslavia for six months.

When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.

I like to think I'm like the guy who goes to the office Christmas party Friday night, insults some people, but still has his job Monday morning.

Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.

It takes many years to be a great comedian.

Why should I retire? I'm like a fighter. The bell rings, and you come out and fight.

No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you.

Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?

When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.

I'm very shy so I became very outgoing to protect my shyness.

Some people call me a legend and the last of the greats, and I appreciate it.