"Too many things on my mind, said Wilbur. Well, said the goose, that's not my trouble. I have nothing at all on my mind, but I've too many things under my behind."

"I see nothing in space as promising as the view from a Ferris wheel."

"I am reminded of the advice of my neighbor. "Never worry about your heart till it stops beating."

"But I would reinvent myself if I could. As a sexy leading man! We all would like that, but I don't know how to."

"Life is an occasion...rise to it."

"Daily dawns another day; I must up, to make my way. Though I dress and drink and eat, Move my fingers and my feet, Learn a little, here and there, Weep and laugh and sweat and swear, Hear a song, or watch a stage, Leave some words upon a page, Claim a foe, or hail a friend- Bed awaits me at the end."

"[On Kay Strozzi in The Silent Witness:] Miss Strozzi ... had the temerity to wear as truly horrible a gown as ever I have seen on the American stage. ... Had she not luckily been strangled by a member of the cast while disporting this garment, I should have fought my way to the stage and done her in, myself."

"The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue."

"It turns out that, at social gatherings, as a source of entertainment, conviviality, and good fun, I rank somewhere between a sprig of parsley and a single ice-skate."

"Don't look at me in that tone of voice."

"But I don't give up; I forget why not."

"Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away."

"If I didn't care for fun and such, I'd probably amount to much, but I shall stay the way I am, because I do not give a damn."

"And if my heart be scarred and burned, The safer, I, for all I learned."

"Excuse me, everybody, I have to go to the bathroom. I really have to telephone, but I'm too embarrassed to say so."

"I might repeat to myself . . . a list of quotations from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things."

"This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella."

"The Monte Carlo casino refused to admit me until I was properly dressed so I went and found my stockings, and then came back and lost my shirt."

"Don't call me a saint. I don't want to be dismissed so easily."

"I could never have imagined that firing 67 people on national television would actually make me more popular, especially with the younger generation."

"Doesn't seem quite real. It's not meaningful. I can't quite imagine myself being 73. That's the age my father was! [Laughter.] How can I be his age? It's weird."

"You have to break through the structure of your own stonework habit just to make yourself listen."

"World is supposed to mean something that's self-contained. but nothing is self-contained."

"Maybe when we die, the first thing we’ll say is, 'I know this feeling. I was here before."