QUOTES by Bill Cosby
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The beautiful thing about older people is their ability to cut the fat off of conversation. When they talk, they don't go on forever and ever. They say what they have to say, and that's it. That was my grand dad. Some of the things he said stunned me, but his words were logical. I'll never forget them.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
It doesn't make any difference how much money a father earns, his name is always Dad-Can-I.... Like all other children, my five have one great talent: they are gifted beggars. Not one of them ever ran into the room, looked up at me, and said, "I'm really happy that you're my father, and as a tangible token of my appreciation, here's a dollar.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
I recently turned fifty, which is young for a tree, mid-life for an elephant, and ancient for a quarter-miler, whose son now says, "Dad, I just can't run the quarter with you anymore, unless I bring something to read."
Quote by -Bill Cosby
I want to die before my wife, and the reason is this: If it is true that when you die, your soul goes up to judgment, I don't want my wife up there ahead of me to tell them things.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
A father . . . knows exactly what those boys at the mall have in their depraved little minds because he once owned such a depraved little mind himself. In fact, if he thinks enough about the plans that he used to have for young girls, the father not only will support his wife in keeping their daughter home but he might even run over to the mall and have a few of those boys arrested.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
My wife and I have five children. And the reason why we have five children is because we do notwantsix.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
If I use the word romance, whether it's my wife or not, it does not mean sex. We can use the word sex when sex is there.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
My wife and I have five children; the reason we have five children is because we do not want six
Quote by -Bill Cosby
With my wife Camille's help, I took to social networking. I'm working with the computers.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
My feeling is, personally, I want to die first... because I believe that when you die, your soul goes immediately up for judgment - and I don't want my wife up there first. No, the judgment will be horrendous.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
I managed my life to the point that at age 19 I was still in high school. I decided I was too old to be walking down those hallways.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
My grandpa didn't believe in hugging and kissing, or saying I love you. His love had to do with the way he treated you. When he said, We're going here, we're going there, he was telling me about life. That was his love for me. My love for him was listening to what he said, keeping out of trouble, doing right, being fair.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
My grandpa didn't believe in hugging and kissing, or saying ""I love you."" His love had to do with the way he treated you. When he said, ""We're going here, we're going there,"" he was telling me about life. That was his love for me. My love for him was listening to what he said, keeping out of trouble, doing right, being fair.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
I don't have a problem believing in God and Jesus. But in Genesis one has to wonder about these sentences that just go on and end without finishing. The thought is unfinished. Where did Adam go? What is he doing? Hello? There has to be some pages missing.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
I tell stories. Because I believe you can do things that joke tellers can't do, and that is, bring your audience along.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
My feeling is, personally, I want to die first... because I believe that when you die, your soul goes immediately up for judgment - and I don't want my wife up there first. No, the judgment will be horrendous.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His kids.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
Your parents put a curse on you - Someday your kids are going to act just like you.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
I often try to tell kids to think about all the people who love you, don't cry over the one person who doesn't.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
Kids need to remember that when you put something on Twitter, it's not like whispering to your friend, you've put it on a billboard that the whole world, including your own kids someday, can see.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
The problems with kids having short attention spans is driven by entertainment, reset buttons on games, games having to do with getting somewhere and heads blowing up. Everything is 'cut to the chase, cut to the chase.'
Quote by -Bill Cosby
No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
If you're a parent, the five worst words you can say to your children are, "When I was your age ..." You were never their age. You were older in the womb.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
I'm not sure if my parents had me because they loved me, or because they wanted someone to watch their other children.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
Today's parents grew up with the silly notion that music was meant to be heard.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
Most fathers and... Mothers. Only your grandmother and Ghengis Khan know how to do it.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
Calculus is one course you can come with to your parents and say, I am dropping it. And they'll understand.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
Your parents put a curse on you - Someday your kids are going to act just like you.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
Every success story has a parent who says, 'over my dead body.' Every success story has an old person who walks up to you and says, when you're acting the fool, 'you know I worry about you sometimes.'
Quote by -Bill Cosby
Parents are people who yell and they yell and they yell and they yell. And you already have the point... and they're still yelling.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
There's no reason for him to come here and jump on black men who have been held down for years.
Quote by -Bill Cosby
One of the great mistakes that can be made by a man of my age is to get involved in athletic competition with children-unless, of course, they are under six. And even then, stay away from hide-and-seek.
Quote by -Bill Cosby