Jennifer Aniston is one of the most down-to-earth, low-key people I know.

When you interview celebrities, they're so guarded so many times, they can't reveal anything.

I've always been exactly who I am on TV. I'm not playing a role.

I'm actually a big fan of Kathy Griffin because I think she's really funny. I think she's really self-deprecating, which is something I like to see in a comedian. I think those are really the best comedians: people who can make fun of themselves.

I was tortured, and probably half of it was deserved, but I was bullied - so much so that there were days when I was like, 'I can't go to school today.' I was too scared.

People are following me because they want to see pictures of me. So why is Instagram editing them?

You can't have friendships that aren't based on realness.

You can't fast-forward heartbreak, and you can't rewind love - and that's just one big bummer.

The love that comes from friendship is the underlying facet of a happy life.

People live in a place called Tornado Alley - and they're surprised when they get hit by a tornado. I'm sorry when they get hit by tornadoes, but when you live in Tornado Alley you can't really claim surprise.

I will make a joke about any of my family members, about me, about my wife, if I really thought that I'm doing it to be funny. If there's some darkness to it, or I think it's ill-willed or mean or not cool, then I won't do it.

When I was born, I was given to my uncle and aunt to raise as their kid because they couldn't have kids.

My birth name is Ned Mencia.

I'm just trying to be funny, trying to make people laugh, and trying to make the world a better place through some jokes. I don't have words for it. It's so overwhelming.

I don't want to go on stage with anger. And that's why I worked so hard to look within and change myself and evolve.

Shows I've done in war zones are the greatest. The first time I was in Iraq, I kid you not, I felt so uncomfortable having the troops say, 'Thank you.' It's so deep and heartfelt.

It's not hard to lose weight.

I was born in Honduras, and everything there is really chill, and people don't worry about having to get something overnighted by FedEx. Maui has that same sort of vibe, but everyone speaks English.

I can't imagine how unbelievable it would be to go to the Great Barrier Reef.

The cool thing about going to Vegas is that it's kind of like visiting a bunch of cities all at one time. All the shows and great restaurants leave you with a lot of options.

My favorite place is Maui. It's almost perfect there - the people, the weather, just everything. No matter how busy you are, when you get to Maui, you chill and relax.

I don't do anything out of negativity anymore.

People that love me, love me. But the people that hate me really hate me.

All this stuff that went down, the joke-stealing accusations, me not wanting to do 'Mind of Mencia' anymore. All these things made me look inside myself.