Everywhere I go, people ask me about Jennifer Aniston's wedding. Everywhere I go. I always say to her, I'm like, 'Being friends with you is a burden. You think it's hard to be friends with me?'

Some men are just disgusted with me and think I should have my mouth sewn shut.

I have a huge impact with young girls. Young women. That's my demographic.

I think you do need two terms as a president.

The whole point of remaining on cable is to remain true to who I am. That's a bad, bad girl that got a big job.

I don't like speaking publicly when I don't have to be funny.

I try not to apologize, especially publicly. That's a slippery slope, because I'm a comedian. If you take anything I'm saying too seriously, then you shouldn't be paying attention in the first place. If you find me offensive, don't follow me.

I think comedy has to come from your authentic point of view.

I don't have a lot of shame. That doesn't mean I can't feel bad about the way someone reacts to me or about something I read about myself online. But I don't have a lot of guilt, no. I've always been this way. I'm missing a chip.

I like to have a home for people just to have a lot of fun.

I'm a standup comedian, so I need people.

I'm not superstitious at all. I'm not a Russian.

MTV is known for their huge budget.

I was the youngest of six kids, and my brothers and sisters were kind of a lot older than me. And the one sister that was, like, in a close age range - she was five years older than me. She was my closest sister in age, and she was a loser.

If you're a member of my family, whether immediate or extended, and you want to see my show, don't.

I like being able to, you know, pack up and leave the country and hop on a plane and go wherever I want and stay wherever and bring my friends with me and bring my family on vacation. That's amazing.

I like to celebrate my life. I have a life that I'm really lucky to have, and so I want to make sure every minute counts and that I go on great vacations and I share my memories with people that I love and that will make me laugh and lalalalalala.

That's my biggest struggle, is maintaining a personal romantic relationship. It takes a lot of effort.

I encourage interoffice romance.

Jews are underdogs - not in my world, obviously, they're not.

I was broke from 19 to 26, borrowing money from my parents or my brothers or sisters every week to pay the bills.

It takes me a while to get my appetite going when I wake up early.

You look at, like, a 'People' magazine, which used to be a really good, you know, nice magazine you could go to for real stories. It wasn't like a 'Star' or an 'US Weekly' and they have somebody with plastic surgery on the cover, Heidi Montag. And it's obviously what consumers want, because why else would they be doing it?

I love Sandra Bullock. I think everybody loves her.