The Kardashian family have earned their place as an American dynasty.

I am an undisputed gangster. To me, that means playing by my own rules.

Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.

About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it.

It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.

It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too.

It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient.

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.

I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.

I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money.

Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return.

Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.

It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash.

The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.

The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.

Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.

Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.

Remember the poor, it costs nothing.

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.

Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit.

There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them.

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.