A theatre tour as me, Joe Lycett, with support acts. That would be the dream.

Competitions are great. Unlike a lot of other creative industries they are a great way of climbing the ladder early on. If you win a comp you get on the big clubs' radar. Some people are not great at competitions, so it doesn't work out for everybody, but it is certainly a good way of getting seen by industry people.

I'm good at throwing fabric on myself!

My sewing skills are terrible!

I quite like the idea that I'm a situation.

You can't go too far wrong with the Pointer Sisters.

I remember weeping silently in bed after watching 'Titanic.'

I buy flowers for myself all the time. I'm comedy's Elton John.

As a comic, you just want to be liked.

I just want people to have a laugh.

The idea was to become an actor. Then I found I really didn't like acting.

I would like to be constantly thinking about life, trying to make it funny.

I think it's something to do with the nurturing side of the psyche; tying up a sunflower or whatever and helping it grow, it is just some kind of core human experience.

When you're going into companies and you're secret filming, I didn't realise the amount of protection that you need legally before you can do just the slightest thing.

I do a very good impression of Louis Armstrong.

I used to sing classical music to the flowers in the garden and imagine they were all different parts of the orchestra. It used to really annoy the neighbours.

I love painting. I love writing. I love creating and being around people who are creating.

As a child, I used to bite my toenails, which is grim. I can still do it.

I think it's important to go out and gig all over the country, it makes you a better comic.

I think it's important some people do publicly go 'Hey, I'm not straight and I'm not gay. I'm somewhere in the middle and that's ok.'

I often ask people in the audience what their favourite cheese is. Anything less than Gruyere and they're just not middle class!

I don't do vulgarity, I prefer to talk about nice things.

It is amazing that I'm making a career out of comedy, my family can't quite believe it.

My philosophy is, if I couldn't say it in front of my grandmother, I probably shouldn't say it.