I knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then.

Off with their heads!

And what is the use of a book," thought Alice, "without pictures or conversation?

Where should I go?" -Alice. "That depends on where you want to end up." - The Cheshire Cat.

How puzzling all these changes are! I'm never sure what I'm going to be, from one minute to another.

He was part of my dream, of course -- but then I was part of his dream, too.

If you don't know where you are going any road can take you there

The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things: Of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings

Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality.

My dear, here we must run as fast as we can, just to stay in place. And if you wish to go anywhere you must run twice as fast as that.

I'm afraid I can't explain myself, sir. Because I am not myself, you see?

A great white jumped into my cage when I was diving in South Africa. Half its body was in the cage, and it was snapping at me.

I certainly don't eat raw bison liver on a regular basis.

Hopefully I've gotten better as an actor as the years have gone on, but the type of work I want to do has never changed.

You are a white. The Imperial Wizard. Now, if you don't think this is logic you can burn me on the fiery cross. This is the logic: You have the choice of spending fifteen years married to a woman, a black woman or a white woman. Fifteen years kissing and hugging and sleeping real close on hot nights. With a black, black woman or a white, white woman. The white woman is Kate Smith. And the black woman is Lena Horne. So you're not concerned with black or white anymore, are you? You are concerned with how cute or how pretty. Then let's really get basic and persecute ugly people!

If you're going to stop masturbating, you can't taper off. You've got to quit, cold jerky!

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.

Getting the role in '300' saved me. I'd been out of work for 11 months after 'The Brothers Grimm.' Once the film came out and didn't do so well, the director Terry Gilliam blamed me for absolutely everything. It was pretty appalling, and I had started to wonder if I'd ever get another job again when I was asked to audition for '300.

Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.

I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not even interesting to me.

I have no secrets.

2 and 2 are 4. 4 and 4 are 8. But what would happen If the last 4 was late? And how would it be If one 2 was me? Or if the first 4 was you Divided by 2?

That's Right Hunny-B

I'm obsessively opposed to the typical.