Please assure me that you are all Republicans.

I favor the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and it must be enforced at gunpoint if necessary.

All the waste in a year from a nuclear power plant can be stored under a desk.

I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.

Unemployment insurance is a pre-paid vacation for freeloaders.

I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.

I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.

A tree's a tree. How many more do you need to look at?

Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.

Politics is just like show business. You have a hell of an opening, coast for a while, and then have a hell of a close.

Thomas Jefferson once said, 'We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.' And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying.

It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?

It's silly talking about how many years we will have to spend in the jungles of Vietnam when we could pave the whole country and put parking stripes on it and still be home by Christmas.

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.

My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes.

What we have found in this country, and maybe we're more aware of it now, is one problem that we've had, even in the best of times, and that is the people who are sleeping on the grates, the homeless, you might say, by choice.

Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement.

Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first.

Approximately 80% of our air pollution stems from hydrocarbons released by vegetation, so let's not go overboard in setting and enforcing tough emission standards from man-made sources.

But I also happen to be someone who believes in tithing--the giving of a tenth .

Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the democrats believe every day is April 15.

I know all the bad things that happened in that war. I was in uniform four years myself.