Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse.

Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.

There's some downsides to being famous, which are not even worth mentioning. But to combat the bad sides of being famous, you really should take advantage of the good sides. The good sides are, you can use that fame to get projects you might not normally get.

Movies have takes. But plays are like life - you don't really get takes.

Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie.

I realized with Broadway everything written for black people is usually written in the past, and I'm kind of a contemporary guy. I don't think you want to see me in 'Raisin in the Sun'.

Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.

I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.

Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves for the rest of their career.

I love being famous. It's almost like being white.

I'm a big fan of Katt Williams, Jim Gaffigan, Louie CK, Margaret Cho, Kathy Griffin, Rich Vas, Joey Vega and Matt Claybrooks.

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?

The thing that surprised me the most is just how much money women that weren't rich were paying for their hair. When you're in a beauty parlor in Harlem next to abandoned buildings and somebody's paying five grand for a weave, that's a bit much.

When I started out in comedy, it was common knowledge that it took about 10 years to get good. And that was okay because it took you about 9 years to get on television.

Show me one guy or woman as funny as Rodney Dangerfield or as good as George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, or Joan Rivers. There are a lot of good comics out there, no doubt, but as far as the quality of the comics goes, I think what you have is a bunch of situational comics.

I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day.

Welcome to the 77th and last Oscars.

Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy.

I live way below my means.

Here's what I knew about doing a play: I knew it would make me a better actor.

America is the greatest country in the whole world.

Hollywood's just not funny.

Jokes rot. They're not like songs. I always envy singers - Sting is always going to sing 'Roxanne'. But people want to hear new jokes. I've written jokes as good as 'Roxanne', I believe. But I can't tell them again.

Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men.