I love Vines. You make this 6.4-second drama, and you can reach 6 million viewer, and make people laugh. I find it so fabulous.

I live very well, but I support a lot of relatives.

I've learned from my dealings with Johnny Carson that no matter what kind of friendship you think you have with people you're working with, when the chips are down, it's all about business.

Prince Charles is so funny. So, so funny.

I was a Brownie Scout mother.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

I just love acting.

Everyone forgets comedians are actors. There's no question about it. A Robin Williams cannot say the same line every night for 40 weeks and make it sound fresh unless he's doing an acting job.

Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

I could be the Greta Garbo of comedy, very secluded, but Garbo had a man who was beyond rich to support her.

I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.

My audiences get younger all the time.

I could pull my living in and live OK, but I don't want to live OK. I'm very happy to live in my penthouse, very happy I can pick up a check, very happy to have a great life and be able to spread my wealth a little bit.

My mother loved entertaining, and I've followed suit, so we have big celebrations for New Year, Passover, Thanksgiving and birthdays.

Trust me, there's not one night a week I'm not in a theater somewhere. I adore theater, and I go out with friends, so I do have some nights off.

I love Katy Perry! She's very charming.

Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

I've learned from doing my own show with Fox that people are not your partners if they're signing the checks. Whoever signs your paycheck is the boss - no matter what they tell you.

I hate reality shows that are not reality.

I hate old people, I hate children. I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.

As comedians, we are all laughing because life is so horrible. Life is so difficult, and I cope with it by making jokes about absolutely everything.

My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.