I'm certainly not a supermodel.

I was a huge 'Blind Date' fan, though, when I was younger; that was on when I was in high school.

There's no anger in my act towards anyone other than myself... and maybe airlines.

There's nothing 'flash in the pan' about my career. It's been built fan by fan, city by city.

I remember playing a college in Michigan, and they all held up their hand to show me where they live, which made me wonder what weird alien cult I had entered.

I was frustrated in general with the way women are always portrayed. And it's always through a man's eyes.

What I have found that my comedy is doing - and what really drives me - is to sort of bring women together through pointing out why we act so crazy.

The world is a scary place. Even my mother has suggested I take a self defense class.

To be labeled pathetic because you enjoy the company of a loving creature who is always down to hang out, sleep, and eat with you is unfair.

Women are often scrutinized when they have pets that men wouldn't have. We are immediately faulted for having the wrong kind of pet rather than anyone first think, 'Wow, she rescued an animal that would have been otherwise killed and gave them a great home - how sweet!'

I think more than anything, as a comedian, I grow tired of the unoriginality of 'crazy cat lady' jokes. It's a hacky joke based on an already-played-out stereotype.

I've been entertaining men with my comedy for many, many years, and I don't plan on stopping.

I would tell my 23-year-old self to be friends with more comics.

I'm not winning any modeling awards, I'm not a Rhodes Scholar, but I genuinely feel that if you're taking time out of your day and your energy to comment on my art, then I got your attention.

It's only through aging and going through heartbreak and loss and successes and failures that you can look back and look at the mistakes some young people make.

I've never been the kind of woman that hates other women, particularly based on their attractiveness.

My only agenda is trying to make you laugh and say something smart.

I don't know what it's like to be mocked because of your skin color. I don't know what it's like to feel overweight. All I can do as a woman is have compassion, treat other women with kindness, and allow them to just be happy and not judge them for it.

Everybody has their cross to bear, and everybody has their issues. But it still never once occurred to me that I'm not as good as everyone else. And that's a gift I wish I could give to every girl.

You can make people laugh, but having them really want to hear what you have to say, that takes trust and time.

My passion in life isn't politics. It truly is connecting to people and women.

I think people have to understand that 'empowering' for women doesn't mean negating men.

Getting on stage and screaming at all Republicans does nothing more than isolate people.

I've built a career on evenly entertaining men and women. And I'm kind of known for not making either side feel bad.