"Most movies suck, even the independent ones. Hollywood is like baseball: Hit three good ones out of 10 and you're a Hall of Famer."

"The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67, and he's still as funny as he's ever been, and he's still angry. And that makes me feel good, because I feel like if I stick around long enough, I'll still be able to work."

"I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with."

"We live in a country where John Lennon takes eight bullets, Yoko Ono is walking right beside him and not one hits her. Explain that to me!"

"I've eaten things that didn't complain this much."

"Loud, stupid and overeating will suffice as long as we also have the funny, the fierce and the intellectual"

"Firefighters don't go on strike."

"I'm born and raised in the Northeast. My parents are Irish immigrants. So our tendency is to shy away from the big yellow ball that comes up in the sky every once in a while."

"Hockey's my favorite sport."

"Every job has parts of it that are a giant pain in the ass - whether you carry a penis or a purse."

"My nieces and my nephews think the only thing that I do is 'Ice Age.' That's fine with me because pretty soon they'll grow up enough to realize that I suck or that my time has passed, whichever it might be."

"For us as writers, it's really important to have songs we believe in - even before sometimes we shoot a scene. If we have a song that's so perfectly designed for a scene on 'Rescue Me,' we'll play it on loud speakers during the shooting. It helps the cameraman and it helps the director, and it helps the actors know what the feel is."

"The key statistic is still to get to the foul line."

"The real issue is not if a crossing is put in, but when. It would be negligent on the part of Union Pacific and the California Public Utilities Commission to not address the problem."

"I only use statistics to reinforce what I already think, or if it's something unusual."

"I just think we shouldn't get into counting coaches' records. I've never been for that... but I know that's just American society."

"I haven't really ever had to audition for anything."

"Any people whose lives are about the way they look, whether it's fat or thin, are in a dangerous area."

"Two people occupying the same air. Nothing else in common. Just oxygen."

"Evolving into a middle-aged person is quite interesting if we can understand what it means. I would like to think it meant being a bit sure of what I want."

"I see you that have a little swimming mouse"

"If a person who constantly reads is labeled a bookworm, then I was quickly becoming what might be called a tapeworm."

"Snowball "just "leads elves on, elves and Santas. He is playing a dangerous game."

"I didn't know about the rest of the class, but when Bastille Day eventually rolled around, I planned to stay home and clean my oven."