"I've heard lots of people lie to themselves but they never fool anyone."

"How is it possible to miss a woman whom you kept at a distance, so that when she was gone you would not miss her?"

"First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me."

"I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them."

"We've had some fun tonight...considering we're all gonna die someday."

"...it is not the big events that hurt the most but rather the smallest questionable shift in tone at the end of a spoken word that can plow most deeply into the heart."

"... you're nuts but you're welcome here."

"You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither."

"I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot."

"Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol."

"Talking about music is like dancing about architecture."

"Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything."

"Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent."

"I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realized why: they're crouching and hidden."

"It's pain that changes our lives."

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."

"I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks."

"Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way."

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

Action comedy, if you can get it right, it is, for me, a particularly brilliant genre. It really is.

“Boys think girls are like books, If the cover doesn’t catch their eye they won’t bother to read what’s inside.”

“The comic and the tragic lie inseparably close, like light and shadow.”

If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.

I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.