I get panic attacks about dying, it's terrible. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and my brain goes 'you're going to die, you're going to die, you're going to die.'

Whenever I come to Ireland, I end up just bantering with the crowd so the show will just be what it is.

You can make bleak things funny but if you're glib about it, it doesn't work.

I'm quite good at talking about things I care about.

I guarantee there's people who watch television who have no idea how complicated it is to make a television show.

If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it's being true to their nature... that's what takes a long time to learn.

I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that's all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.

I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you're a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level.

A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That's just like heaven to me. I'm a simple man.

It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech and Chong. I had all these records.

I don't do any corporate work.

I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.

I think honest communication, no matter where it comes from, is positive for a relationship.

Think of The Rontourage as the Ron White Channel, where you can see us getting into trouble in all kinds of different places.

I think the world has their own good, clean, Christian comedy. They don't need my help.

When I was 20, I used to go around telling stories, and I knew where I was comfortable - onstage, talking, making 'em laugh and listen to the weirdest things. I liked being the center of attention.

If I see someone out there mouthing the words to a bit, I'm not having fun.

All I know how to do is take what's on my mind and spit it out funny. I don't know what else I could do besides comedy.

People, when they go on stage, tend to be animated and try to force things out instead of relaxing and bringing it in.

I'm not willing to drag my fans down a road I don't believe in. That's just my one little principle. I've only got one, and that's it.

There's no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn't been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you'll look cool, I don't get that. But I don't watch standup anyway, so I don't know what they're doing.

TV is a hard job. You work 15 hours a day. People tell you what to do. I hate to do it.

I want my fans to feel like we're always in touch. Because without 'em, I wouldn't be able to do any of this.

Anything I write that I consider stage-quality work, I won't give my TV show. I put it in my live show.