Humor Quotes
Find one of the best and famous quote catagorized into topics like inspirational, motivations, deep, thoughtful, art, success, passion, frindship, life, love and many more.
“You should write a book," Ron told Hermione as he cut up his potatoes, "translating mad things girls do so boys can understand them.”
Quote by -J K Rowling
“According to Madam Pomfrey, thoughts could leave deeper scars than almost anything else.”
Quote by -J K Rowling
“Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.”
Quote by -J K Rowling
“There's always room for a story that can transport people to another place.”
Quote by -J K Rowling
“There is no good and evil, there is only power and those too weak to seek it.”
Quote by -J K Rowling
“Harry was left to ponder in silence the depths to which girls would sink to get revenge.”
Quote by -J K Rowling
A cop stopped me for speeding. He said, “Why were you going so fast?” I said, “See this thing my foot is on? It’s called an accelerator. When you push down on it, it sends more gas to the engine. The whole car just takes right off. And see this thing? This steers it.”
Quote by -Steven Wright
A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, “Wish you were here.”
Quote by -Steven Wright
Doing a little work around the house. I put fake brick wallpaper over a real brick wall, just so I’d be the only one who knew. People come over and I’m gonna say, “Go ahead, touch it…it feels real.”
Quote by -Steven Wright
One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody’s satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV’s all over the world.
Quote by -Steven Wright
One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, “Didn’t you see the stop sign?” I said, “Yeah, but I don’t believe everything I read.”
Quote by -Steven Wright
Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, “Wish you were here.”
Quote by -Steven Wright
Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn’t happen.
Quote by -Steven Wright
The judge asked, “What do you plead?” I said, “Insanity, your honor, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?”
Quote by -Steven Wright
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
Quote by -Steven Wright
Today I dialed a wrong number… The other person said, “Hello?” and I said, “Hello, could I speak to Joey?”… They said, “Uh… I don’t think so…he’s only 2 months old.” I said, “I’ll wait.”
Quote by -Steven Wright