Making something of loss is, on some level, satisfying.

You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.

We don't grow as human beings from good things happening. We grow from failures.

I prefer situational or character-based humor to gross-out gags and comedic set pieces.

The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren't in a very good mood.

People of humor are always in some degree people of genius.

No mind is thoroughly well-organized that is deficient in a sense of humor.

Whether you like it or not, you are committed to the human endeavor. I cannot ally myself with such a purely negative goal as avoidance of suffering. Suffering is a chance you take by the fact of being alive.

Good humor may be said to be one of the very best articles of dress one can wear in society.

My sense of humor will always stand in the way of my seeing myself, my family, my race or my nation as the whole intent of the universe.

“That head of yours should be for use as well as

“The statesman received us with that old-fashioned courtesy for which he is remarkable, and seated us on the two luxuriant lounges on either side of the fireplace. Standing on the rug between us, with his slight, tall figure, his sharp features, thoughtful face, and curling hair prematurely tinged with gray, he seemed to represent that not too common type, a nobleman who is in truth noble.”

“I trust that age doth not wither nor custom stale my infinite variety.”

“Watson,' said he, 'if it should ever strike you that I am getting a little over-confident in my powers, or giving less pains to a case than it deserves, kindly whisper 'Norbury' in my ear, and I shall be infinitely obliged to you.”

“He made the country down in Illinois, and He made the Missouri", the little girl continued. "I guess somebody else made the country in these parts. It's not nearly so well done. They forgot the water and the trees.”

“It is the German who is so uncourteous to his verbs”

“Picnics are very dear to those who are in the first stage of the tender passion.”

“There are always some lunatics about. It would be a dull world without them.”

“There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair." (Alexander Hamilton, to Thomas Jefferson)”

“We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.”

The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.

Every man has a right to a Saturday night bath.